The Drabblecast

Deep in the woods on a Saturday night around the stump of a big ole maple,
An old bald Eagle and his Koala paralegal sit down at the head of the table,
There’s a Polar Bear in a big leather chair, leanin back so far he could break it,
he says "The Manatee sends his apologies, he did everything he could to make it."

Well the Eagle said,
“We gather today, to offer our aid to a Woodpecker goin through some stormy weather,
We’re endangered species to some degree, so we all gotta try and stick together-
He needs some direction, he needs our protection, so I called us all together to make this connection,
So lets take a sec and offer him our recpect and hear what pecking problem pickeds this pecker to peck."

That's when the Woodpecker spoke up

"Well they took my land and they took my home and they took away my family,
They took my friends and they took my food and they took away all my trees,
But the one thing that they took from me that I know I can never forgive,
Is the one thing that I truly need in order for me to live-"

The old Woodpecker took off his hat, a tear ran down his bill,
He said “I could make it by without all that- but now The Man's comin down on my still-
He's comin down hard on my still."


Scorch my skies and poison my rain, build another Burger King, have it your way,
pave more highways add more lanes, theres too many ivorybilled woodpeckers anyways,
but never take a pecker from his shine, never take a pecker from his ole moonshine
Do whatchya gotta do, Lord do whatchyou will, but never take a pecker from his moonshine still

Moonshine… ole Carolina coffee…the rare ole mountain dew… the ole ivorybilled woodpeckers delight


Well there were gasps in the crowd, and a Burrowing Owl squawked- “Yo, They did the same to me!
They destroyed my habitat- and I was fine with that, but then they started messin with my weed!
I don’t sell it, I just grow- and my shits good yo- but the heat came down real fast.
Hustla hit the big time just to come and out and find- da Man never lets that last."

Then a Prairie Dog hopped up on the log and said- “I can feel where your comin from,
“There was a time when my family controlled all 5 burrows, but those times are all long gone.
We had an underground racket- politicians in our pockets but then an insida ratted us out-
If it wasn’t for dis co-op we’d be really endangered, we’d be gonnaz without a doubt."


Then the Woodpecker looked all around confused and said “You guys aren’t going extinct?”
They all kinda chuckled and a Walrus said “Not as long that’s what people think!
You see, we’re just layin low, while things blow over, with our business issues, shall we say-
Mr. Eagle is our legal representative for evil- our liaison with the EPA"

The old Woodpecka took off his hat, a tear ran down his bill
He looked at the Eagle and said “Whatever it takes-
Just keep The Man from comin down on my still,
He's comin down hard on my still—“

Scorch my skies and poison my rain, build another Burger King, have it your way,
pave more highways add more lanes, theres too many ivorybilled woodpeckers anyways,
but never take a pecker from his shine, never take a pecker from his ole moonshine
Do whatchya gotta do, Lord do whatchyou will, but never take a pecker from his moonshine still


….the Devil’s Blood …. The Irish call it Poitin…the German’s call it swartztegebranter…here in the ole US of Muhrica, we call it the ivorybilled woodpeckers delight…

Well he was catchin glares from some ole Panda Bears and suspicions started to grow,
And a Sea Turtle asked what everyone was thinking- “How do we know he ain’t 5-0?”
The Bald Eagle said “If your gonna play dead, boy you better understand the rules-
You birds rat on us or you blow your own cover, your tree won’t be the only thing with holes.”

So next time ya see an endangered species, count yourself lucky as hell indeed,
Cuz he’s one of the few, the tride and true, who doesn’t traffic drugs and doesn’t grow weed.
The rest are alive- theyre just laying low, and it’s their morals that are going extinct,
We don’t know where they are, or where exactly they meet- but at least we know what they like to drink…..

Scorch my skies and poison my rain, build another Burger King, have it your way,
pave more highways add more lanes, theres too many ivorybilled woodpeckers anyways,
but never take a pecker from his shine, never take a pecker from his ole moonshine
Do whatchya gotta do, Lord do whatchyou will, but never take a pecker from his moonshine still

Some people feel guilty for the things they do, other people don’t think twice,
Some people live until the day they die, others play dead their whole life,
Some people give up everything above, for everything they got underground,
Some people get worried they’ll be lost forever
Others people worry they’ll be found.

I loved this song, and it is very catchy. Did the forum choose the ads at the bottom, for wookdpecker repellant, rhino relief, etc? I would have liked to see a link to a good still supplier.

After listening to this song i don't know how many times, I finally heard the prairie dog say "burrow" instead of "borough", and it just cracked me up.

Genius!