by normsherman on Fri May 15, 2009 5:55 am
Yo Russia it's me, your arch-nemesis,
We the G's over seas with Mickydees stains on our T's,
with luxuries like you wouldn't believe, we've got more ringtones on our iphones than China's got Chinese,
We're America biotch, the land of the free
We gave you Michael Bolton and Jurassic Park 3
Our soccer teams suck and our beers taste like pee pee
but our rhymes are so phat they get type II diabetes
But enough about us, how come you ain't been callin me?
I guess you're trying to stabilize your volatile economy,
preoccupied nationwide with new domestic policies,
sike, ya right, I know you tryin to follow me
You've been
Disgraced in the space race, trying to save face after comin in second place,
Just enough to taste victory, chase history, ace Kennedy, but ya lost pace with your enemy,
and now you're layin low, plottin' for as long as we've known ya,
You hold you're head up like Neil Armstrong didn't pwn ya,
that secret space ride that you're tryin to hide isn't something I would publicize with any pride, I'll tell ya why--
We be pimpin the Hubble tonight
Put dem 20 inch rims on spinnin round right
Got da chrome on the dubs, got da subs thumpin bass
New spectrograph camera taking pictures of space
Got tricked-out subsystems bouncin' hydrolics
Don't need any of it, it's purely symbolic
Step up your product, you gotta get on it cuz we be ballin'
With a telescope that rules even harder than Lenin or Stalin
Don't fight us, our shit's tightest,
dis satellite is always packed with cuties and booties that are delighted
screamin "we are so excited!" You got that right,
Cuz you in orbit on a craft that's unrivaled
Whatchyou got Russia? Whatchyou been launchin lately?
Some hoopty-ass Sputnick lookin thing, second rate,
Like your older sister Debbie who I took on a date
to the Golden Corral, when the bill came I made her pay
"Oh silly me, I left my wallet in my Cabriolet,
I got the steak, hope that's ok, now go away,
cuz you look like Cathy Bates on a bad day,
blase, even makes your Satellite look plain"
You had enough? Cuz I can mix it up again,
I can flip it I can rip it any way you want Motherland,
You can't cope cuz our telescope's so dope,
You know there's no hope, end of the rope, end of the show,
go home, thanks for playin Russia, here's some Stoli's for the road,
and don't forget your coat when you go cuz it's so damn cold back home,
all that snow, like 23 degrees below, here we go--
"Give us all some Jelly"